Having some moments of conversation last month with a good friend turned out to reveal another understanding towards such a thing called love. Either a broken hearted story or a reciprocating one, it should do just fine and happen anyway.
Most of people who is incapable of describing usually says “you will know right away when you meet one darling” which I hardly understand since maintaining/staying in love surely need a lot of effort and it is done by choice of true loyalty, not a shallow type of love. A combined renewal and reconciliation done by two persons in loving act towards each other, instead of killing so kind to tell one to go home and giving back the heart that’s on loan (one case that i know of). Maybe you don’t have to smile so sad.
So… Should I use altered perceptions to sag under the weight of an increasingly needs for touchy-feely approach to life, I wonder? Loving every shades of a person is just as wonderful as you just do it consciously, no?
After such years, I find that despite how open, peaceful and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. And it also happen to such a thing called love in any stage of falling in, falling out or staying in it.
Another undeniable fact too, that moving on and letting go are two different things. A lot of people move on WITHOUT letting go. Whether it is consciously or unconsciously triggered, who cares.
Anyone who tries to create or connect love towards an emotionally unaware partner “suffers” during certain situations (bahasa Indonesia-nya : merana). Some may end up emotionally detached facing such reality, killing yourself softly. It is not just a matter of trust anymore, it is a matter of reciprocating in well mannered way (supposedly).
No other emotions seems more mysterious than love (perhaps). At its core, falling in love is driven by our desire for happiness. Yes yes I know happiness comes in many forms, not just in this love matter, but you do know when you actually crave and need it (in a more specific way).
This movement from reason to reliance on the heart, such moving away from reason towards reward-motivated-pleasure-feeling responses (self justifying, self realizing, self fulfilling and self indulging) just make me questioning my view towards actual love concept itself. It is only when you get out of morass of self indulgence that you may begin to see the error of your heart and all its reasonings.
It’s been quite funny and also entertaining too, discussing such concepts with a bitter broken heart sarcastic friend saying “Timing is like a bitch Vy!” or a cliche saying “Love always hurt” and I just rolled my eyes, enjoyed laughing so hard together on such bitter babbling.
When you are “lost and found” again, it just made more sense that honestly, timing has a lot to do with everything. Sometimes you aren’t ready for each other yet (or in my friend’s case, never will). It is better not to say things prematurely until you’re sure enough and not giving too much away even when you’re sure enough at the moment.
The same kind of mind struck arise too while accidentally listened to Paloma Faith song, “Only Love Can Hurt Like This”… I can only feel and think the opposite way because a sincere love never suppose to hurt you.
Loneliness hurt. Rejection hurt. Dismissal act hurt. Losing someone hurt. Abandonment hurt. (and your heart cry for it until you reach emotionless state)
You know you don’t want just another passing story in life, but a happy reality.
Most people confuse such hurt with love.
In reality, love covers and heals all kind of pain and make someone feel wonderful again.
In practical way, love is something that never hurt.
I prefer to see these two in different meaning, just to distill it (such a word from a chemist in heart, no? :p ). Not diffusing it like most people do.
Meanwhile, the only thing I’m committed to right now is bettering myself, and laughing at myself when I feel bad. A mature heart surely know how this should be meant.
Because at the bottom of your heart, you know that you seek for your better half, not just another half.
Happy thursday sweety! Smile happily peeps!
Hopefully i won’t be sleepwalking after spending my sleeping hours during the dawn just to clarify my mind, writing such feelings among the lingering thoughts inside my heart for months, pouring out without interruption by others opinions.
Cheers to such “young” love~♥