The Riddle

Of all the talk I had with my Daddy since childhood, this song reminded me so much of him when things weighed me down and I’ve always been a fan of this song since middle school. It is  about you and the universe. Hope you do enjoy this song as much as i do, and hey.. i dropped the lyrics too… 😛

~The Riddle by Five For Fighting~

There was a man back in ’95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him

Wait, what’s the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me

He said,

Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see… You will see

Then he said,

Here’s a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I…

Picked up my kid from school today

Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can’t live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said,

Dad I’m big but we’re smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we’re nothing at all
Still every mother’s child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me

And Hey Dad
Here’s a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I…

I said,

Son for all I’ve told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world…
Who am I?

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we’re not wise enough to see

He said… You looking for a clue I Love You free…

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel’s eyes
A song plays on while the moon is high over me
Something comes over me

I guess we’re big and I guess we’re small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we’re all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here’s a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I…

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Layak?

The possibility of making our dreams comes true, that makes life interesting even more.

This has been one thing or two that i will never stop to show people around me. Because pity are those who keep thinking they are open-minded enough yet they were not, at all. Naive!

And ahhhhhhhhh akhirnya punya waktu juga untuk membuka laman ini.

Periode yg menguras energy sudah berkurang dan setelah sekian lama penantian, aku menemukan adanya secercah harapan yg bisa aku genggam. Selain urusan waktu, perasaan, keluarga dan financial awareness (ya, FINANCIAL AWARENESS AND UTILITY kawan-kawan. Psikologis keuangan itu sangat penting walaupun bukan yg paling penting, toh? Catat!), Tuhan akhirnya membukakan sendiri pintuNya bahkan tanpa aku minta! Sebelumnya sudah banyak mengetuk, asli gak diwarooooo tapi kali ini…dua pintu sekaligus. Yang satu sudah nyata,  tapi yang satu masih menimbang kemampuan. Maklum, aku sering digerogoti keraguan karena banyak gagal sebelumnya. Matik.

Tapi lain dengan perasaan ini. Kerinduan ini. Rasa cinta ini. Keyakinan ini. Aku tahu benar kemana ini semua akan mengarah. Dan lucunya … selalu ada-ada saja cara Tuhan menggiringku ke sana bahkan ketika aku enggan. Tapi, kenapa tidak? :p

Aku tak perlu menulis detil alasan aku menulis disini, toh blog itu adalah wadah ekspresi bebas..karena aku ini banyak diberkati untuk banyak memberkati juga, betul?

Di luar urusan segala tetek bengek soal hubungan yang sudah lama sekali tak banyak diurusi, aku menekankan kembali lewat post ini.

Setiap orang itu layak dicintai TEPAT seperti yang mereka butuhkan masing-masing, dipahami oleh yang sama-sama sedang mengalami dan orang-orang di luar itu, bukan seperti apa yang orang lain pikirkan atau di-dikte-kan apalagi pakai gaya teori segala mentang-mentang lulusan luar negeri. Dengan segala keterbatasan yg dimiliki, kita ini hanya memampukan diri sesuai kapasitas yg sedang kita punya untuk menjadi lebih besar.

Adalah tanggung jawab kita untuk bisa selalu berkembang dengan apapun itu yg ada di tangan kita, untuk mencintai dunia. Bukannya karena tuntutan orang lain zzzz. Dan aku sangat menentang keras segala jenis orang-orang yang apatis pada perkembangan karena mengurung diri.

Ups and downs? Jangan ditanya. Siklus yang sudah dilalui pun tak terhitung. Sudah baja. Tapi dari itu semua kita ini mengerti kalau kita butuh didampingi orang-orang yang memiliki kapasitas yg sama ketika sedang banyak ditantang situasi. Tak hanya didampingi tapi juga dicintai dengan baik oleh orang-orang yang mengerti apa yg sedang kita alami dalam realita kita, bukan mencampuradukkan dengan realita orang lain.

Aku jadi memahami apa perkataan sesepuh terdahulu. Laki-laki yang masih sibuk menjadikan perempuan sebagai bemper ego masa lalu itu sangat belum layak  meminta atau pun menerima cinta dari perempuan mana pun.

Mengapa? Karena jenis-jenis ini masih mencari bentuk kedewasaan dgn membenturkan hubungan dari satu perempuan ke perempuan lainnya, mengharapkan loncatan demi loncatan mental. Buta melihat karakter dalam realita semu. Sesumbar mulut manis yg tidak terlepas dari umur mereka, daun tua, daun terlalu tua atau pun daun muda alias para dedek berondong yang lucu-lucu dengan ego yg terluka hingga mereka yang memasang jebakan hubungan ringan kesana kemari.

Karena aku ini selalu tidak percaya dengan omongan semata atau pun sekedar paradigm menemukan the one yang serta merta.Mungkin saja ini efek terlalu banyak mendengar perempuan lain curhat.

Mau dikatakan punya trust issue pada laki-laki juga silahkan, faktanya laki-laki jaman sekarang itu banyak yg belum bisa dipercaya. Mereka butuh inspirasi dari yg katanya innate character tapi faktanya ia sendiri pun jelas-jelas tak punya … memang ya laki jaman sekarang itu garink dan kurang melek jaman, sementara perempuan itu butuh sosok laki-laki yang jauh lebih tangguh dan punya karakter pelindung yg baik, bukan sweet words saja macam “I feel what i feel for you” atau pun “how would you feel if i never tell you these things”.. termasuk rentetan email mantan. Ironis ya pria jaman sekarang?

Dan dengan hormat dan kasih sayang, semua sudah selayaknya dikembalikan dengan manis kepada yg empunya, dengan sempurna. As much as i’ve expected from his bluntness since the beginning i saw this one, he has been a very lovely cycle breaker i’ve been waiting in my life, at the least.😘

Di mataku, tidak ada yg benar atau pun salah dalam semua jenis hubungan, lantas akhirnya aku jadi tergelak sangat geli melihat hasil pergulatan egoku sendiri di masa lalu. Dan semakin tidak tertarik lah aku ini pada jenis hubungan jaman sekarang. Sisi jiwa feminisku sangat berperan besar kali ini.

Silahkan direfleksikan sementara aku masih harus mengolah sumber energyku sejak kecil, yaitu Art, Engineering dan Business Intelligence. Mau bagaimanapun aku ini masih saja tetap berbinar kalau sedang memadukan 3 miracle ini, apalagi kalau sudah bertemu sesama yang brainal juga.

(dancing mood)

Jadi.. Sudah layak kah kamu ini menerima berkat yg lebih besar dengan kapasitas yg seharusnya? I leave this question to you darlings. I’m gonna be off for a few months to another revelation of my dreams coming true in reality.

>:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D

Aku rasa sepi paling memekakkan itu seperti ini: kau tiba-tiba tersadar belum menemukan satu pun orang tempat kau bisa mencurahkan dirimu sepenuh-penuhnya tanpa rasa takut atau waswas, dan dia menyahutimu seperti yang benar-benar kaubutuhkan tanpa kau perlu mengatakannya sama sekali.

Dan definisi mengerikan adalah orang-orang yang bosan dengan hidupnya. Mereka ini bisa melenceng keluar tanpa memikirkan dampaknya lalu menyerempet orang lain demi kepuasan sesaat. Mereka bisa membuat kamu merasa diinginkan bahkan dicintai, padahal tidak. Mereka hanya bosan dan kamu hanya pengalih perhatian yang cocok dengan kebutuhannya saat itu. Tidak pernah benar-benar nyata, bahkan untuk hidupnya sendiri.

No Thing

Body is just a shelter system for the soul. Functional matter, dears.

A system is only trying to help and simplify the mundane daily life but never made to make life easier or make sense.

And some people only have to bring any glimpse of your past when they’re threatened by your present. Then… why would you bother on how people stabbing at your back?

Driven by quiet rant of rich thoughts, all of us make a compromise, between norms and our true self.

As humanity needs to be understood by looking within and befriending ourselves, which question would you like to pick for you now?

Which one is better and which one is less? Which one is good and which one is bad?

Nobody can be themselves completely. Nobody likes themselves completely. Nobody loves other persons completely. Nobody listens to their intuitions completely. Nobody is meant for each other completely. Nobody gives compliments completely. Nobody earns their dreams completely. Nobody listens to other people’s opinions completely. Nobody loves other people unconditionally completely. Nobody feels sorry for their mistakes completely. Nobody means their promises completely. Nobody feels grateful for their existence completely.

Mixed feelings is something you can’t really explain but you know exactly how it feels.

You love your idealism more than you love someone, my dear.

You love your moments of solitude more than you may love something or someone.

It’s understanding but at the same time also demanding too much.

It’s accepting but at the same time never feel good enough.

It’s listening but at the same time talking someone’s back.

And it’s no thing because there are so many things in nothing. More important than any important things you have learned all of your life. Nothing is the most beautiful thing in the world because in nothing the possibility is endless. Everything is nothing and nothing is everything. From zero you can become one hundred and be back to zero again. But how you construct everything back to nothing needs more courage and brain and planning.

And when your happiness is always urgent…Can you stop being so basic and just be nothing before anything else growing in you?

Because when everyone becomes nothing, that’s when everything will become beautiful again, out of any arrogance form in the world.

(Serba serbi air of thoughts akhir tahun 2016 hasil celingukan dan membaca untaian emosi asing yg lincah berseliweran pun selesai sudah)

PS : Thank you miss Bohang for all beautiful pictures and words, it is all inspiring for this post.

Collectively coherent 👹❤

Hello peeps. Been a while.❤

I must admit that this blog has some people’s mix story in its content (including mine), mostly packed in one shot post. I’ve been using it as my sources while creating it to entertain my other fellows to reduce stress at work without telling things too much (yes we all do have our own tensions, be it dealing with a jerk at the street or varied corporate politic situation). All of this just show you that 70% of my posts has been written in fiction points of view, based on significant facts in each of our personal life along with the “emang lagi (atau pengen) BAPER” mode along with ups and downs. More likely a contemporary genre using a bit of ghostwriting method.

Singkatnya, kalau mau cengeng ya sekalian jadi cengeng dulu sampai beres ya kawans lalu udah, never fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back more than you love the person even though that person only know how to initiate relationship without growing it at all (prior utk wanita yang nggak dipupuk hatinya, “bravo” utk gaya komunikasi yg bikin sesuatu makin meaningless, lebih pentingin show off mood di sosmed dari pada properly communicating lambang hasil bitter masa ABG), kalau bahasa kasih dan pertumbuhan mentalnya nggak sama pun yaudah jelas ngga klop, tough lagi kemudian selesai dan naik level, hello new devil peeps!

And due to my current absence on that method  since i move it to other creative process and only for internal reading outside this blog, i decided to release some of my other thoughts-contained-brain-side about work for once in a while, using a factual approach. I’m presenting you about change management methodology, and i do hope my other fellows could understand things deeper as i reconstruct line by line in this post using some resources around me.

So what is our current rule of the game? Simple. Just stability! ❤

the-allure-of-transaprency-and-stability-2-e1435135261149

Many senior executives in companies had a simple stability goal for themselves. Shareholders wanted little more than predictable earnings growth. Because so many markets were either closed or undeveloped, leaders could deliver on those expectations through annual exercises that offered only modest modifications to the strategic plan. Prices stayed in check; people stayed in their jobs; no one got fired; life was good. But unfortunately, things don’t go that way many times, right?

A somewhat ambiguous term, change management has at least three different aspects whatsoever, including : adapting to change, controlling change and effecting change.

Market transparency, labor mobility, global capital flows, and instantaneous communications have blown that comfortable scenario to smithereens. In most industries and in almost all companies, from giants on down – heightened global competition has concentrated management’s collective mind on something that, in the past, it happily avoided: dynamic change. It never get easy peeps. It takes time and a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTT of energy until i must re-think again about energy allocation i have to make in the next 5 years. (T___T)

One poor thing is seeing how some higher positioned people thinking that communication is the same as engagement, while both are actually different in practical ways. Some only dictate people on what should change, without a proper approach towards each individual. –> This happen a lot in every personal life too i must say. Kick that arrogance smoothly!

You must have an intimate understanding of the human side of change management (the alignment of the company’s culture, values, people, and behaviors) to encourage the desired results. Plans themselves do not capture value. Value is realized only through the sustained, collective actions of the thousands of employees who are responsible for designing, executing, and living with the changed environment.

Of course..No single methodology fits every company, but there are set of practices, tools, and techniques that can be adapted to a variety of situations. Using these as a systematic, comprehensive framework, many executives suppose to understand what to expect, how to manage their own personal change, and how to engage the entire organization in the process.

Culture is also very very critical. It gets more important while proposing change management. It even became more critical when the upper level people decide to do some changes accompanied with IT system changing without any significant tools to maintain / develop their human resources. Not enough maintenance in performance management system resulted in more deeper issues whatsoever.

A mutual understanding is a mandatory in retaining their company’s unique values and sense of identity and about creating a culture of commitment and performance. Leadership teams that fail to plan for the human side of change often find themselves wondering why their best-laid plans have gone awry. How ironic, huh?

The impact is clearly shown in three big sectors :

  1. The transformation mechanism –> a significant one always create People Issues. 😐
  2. Consumed resources : Time, people and of course, money.
  3. Typically left with diminished moral, perhaps? or immaturity? (easily blaming each other in negativity for example)

Long-term structural transformation has four characteristics, which are : scale (the change affects all or most of the organization), magnitude (it involves significant alterations of the status quo), duration (it lasts for months, if not years), and strategic importance. Yet the companies will reap the rewards only when change occurs at the level of the individual employee. That is undeniable..! (i am highly exposing on these.)

So..how do we create a coherent environment in order to generate a smooth changing events in progressive ways?  Passive aggressive? Well.. After a lot of evaluation and extensive reading plus brainstorming with other expertise fellows, here are 10 shortlisted principle guides :

  1. Address the “human side” systematically
  2. Start at the top
  3. Involve every layer
  4. Make the formal case
  5. Create ownership
  6. Communicate the message
  7. Asses the cultural landscape
  8. Address culture explicitly
  9. Prepare for the unexpected
  10. Speak to the individual

Some upper people contemplating change know that people do matter. It is all too tempting, however, to dwell on the plans and processes, which don’t talk back and don’t respond emotionally, rather than face up to the more difficult and more critical human issues. But mastering the “soft” side of change management needn’t be a mystery after all…. But then again, implementing all of this is already a challenge itself, isn’t it?

I do hope this post can stimulate you to a broaden knowledge about thriving in dynamic challenges. As for my work case, i can only put ice bag upon my head everyday so it won’t blow up.

I am just currently happier to attain some insights and inserting it to my environment so it could get healthier in reconstructive ways before i made my final decision to move on with my actual life plan.

Kalau kata Master Shifu..”Belum pernah dimusuhin itu belum sempet seru namanya.” Hemmmmmmmmm…….. (garuk-garuk kepala sambil nyengir) wakakak.

Well..Let’s get things done peeps! Banzai!

Owh..and happy weekend, beautiful souls. ❤

vires acquirit eundo

Tak terasa ini sudah menjelang tahun ke-enam. Aku sudah bukan anak kemarin sore lagi yang baru masuk dunia, tetapi sebagai pemain lama. I’ve been ouuuut of the book and being tooooo attached at the real street for long, haven’t i? Ain’t a college idealist anymore. Dan realitaku tahun ini ibarat sedang memandang anak-anak angsa yang baru belajar berenang di tepian danau. Berani terbang pun belum. Ada yang masih senang main air atau pun memang sibuk mangkel sambil ngomel.

Bagaimana tidak? Ketika mengeluarkan pertanyaan sistematis standard seperti “Oke…Jadi kamu sudah tau apa saja tentang Rekonsiliasi System-Subsystem?” dilanjutkan dengan Konsolidasi dll, toh aku hanya dibalas dengan tatapan apaan-itu-kak diikuti muka seram begitu mendengar nama proyek Jackpot ini karena rumor sekantor. LOL. That face!

white-swan

Aku hanya terkekeh sambil menenangkan muka-muka angsa polosan macam anak kuliah penuh teori dan hipotesa ini. Persepsi situasi memang harus diperkenalkan dengan hati-hati agar kondusif saat berjalan. Chemistry dalam bekerja itu ada seni-nya, betul? Dan kalau tidak ada rindu, untuk apa kerja? Sama seperti hubungan.

Well..Setidaknya…Mereka menerima provisi plus transfer knowledge dariku dengan otak yang lapar. Itu sudah jadi berita baik buatku, ditambah aku harus mendampingi bagian jam terbang hingga awal 2017 plus extra tanggung jawab sejak tahun kemarin.

Apa yg bisa diuji dari ini semua? Hasil membangun pola kerjaku! Dites habis-habisan seperti dihajar sejak tahun kemarin di tempat antah berantah, jauh dari pusat kota yg menyediakanku rumah kedua selain Bandung. Jadi…Pressure-nya berasa beneran (setidaknya seperti inilah realita karirku). Saat ini aku sudah melewati masa shock dan beneran panik akibat metode beringas tahun kemarin dari orang lain yang sangat tidak tepat, diikuti uji EQ maksimal di lapangan. Hello new resilience!

Dan dari semua monster ego yg selama ini aku latih di dalam, duh! Tetap saja masih tersisa satu yang sulit jinak seumur hidup, makin dipecut makin takabur dan harus dibantu oleh sosok yang bisa calm-kind-smarty-dominant di sampingku, bukan yang ambekan melulu seumur hidupnya. (-_______-)

Monster apa itu? Monster pola yang sedang lost in sequence, ditambah lagi kalau sedang “jablai” jadinya makin kacau beliaw, bisa begitu. HAHAHA —–> ketawa miris loh ini, apalagi kalau sedang panicked over prolonged situational condition. Jadinya monster jablai beneran!

Lalu untuk hal lain lagi…Apa yg bisa dipetik ulang ketika iman sedang dijatuhkan situasi? Ketika sekedar berharap bukan pilihan strategi yang baik? Ada! Apa tuh? Kalau perjalanan dengan Tuhan itu sama sekali nggak ada hubungannya dengan agama dan segala macam ritual. Yep. Itu perjalanan yang sepenuhnya spiritual. Dan nggak ada yang bisa benar-benar memahaminya kecuali kau dan Dia saja. Catat ya…sifatnya personal dan hasilnya ya… naik level. Won’t go details on this part. :p

Selain itu… tak lupa juga dengan pembimbing baik hati yang selalu sabar dengan kepolosanku terdahulu. Aku tersenyum iseng tiap pagi tatkala berjumpa si Om rewel baik hati yang dulu menyambutku ketika pertama kali masuk gedung ini… Ia cuma bilang, “Ingat ya Non, you essentially work for yourself. Oh, dan untuk orang-orang tersayang juga.”

Well..Sekarang aku jadi tambah paham kenapa ia tak pernah sekali pun bertanya “Why do you want to work for this company?” saat briefing karyawan terdahulu.

Tak lama setelah obrolan dengan Om ini, biasanya aku selalu men-dial 1 nomor utk di-call. Kami mengobrol panjang dan ketika waktu sudah habis, ia selalu menutup dialog sambil berkata, “Lagi sama-sama sulit.. Kamu yang sabar ya ngejalanin di sana.”

Dan aku hanya mengangguk sambil menjawab, “Iya Pa, yang sabar juga ya…”

Aku yang saat ini seperti angsa sedang merebahkan diri di tepian danau. Tak ingin terbang atau pun bermain air. Hanya sedang vakum sembari mempersiapkan encouragement ini itu untuk angsa-angsa lain yang aku haruskan ke tengah danau lalu belajar terbang sendiri karena aku tahu mereka itu mampu, tapi belum gigih. Artinya…Jeburin dulu saja! Jadi apa ya lihat nanti.

And at one point of my life, I figured out what I need is one brave man who understand how to slow me down and stay. Not one who bravely initiate and snap me then just disappear. I’d love someone who pull me away from my computer once in a while and show me that it’s okay for me to stop and just walk slower with him. Together.

Because Love should slow you down and lead you into growing mutual weirdness. Never the opposite.

shw_3

{mengetik random selesai, gausa protes karena sequence yg ngga rapih ya kawan-kawan lol}

The Immovable Detachment

As our usual meet up took place last Friday along with tasty cherry and wheat beers, I can only laugh sheepishly among the crowd while I still gawked on my little red tube called Symbicort Turbuhaler (inhaler) to use for one more month as I only followed necessary directions of what is not and what to hold on until grandpa Doctor says “All clear” after one year supervision due to tiredness condition and other immune tendency.

Nothing serious in the future unless I cross the border line into unhealthy accumulation. We just get to choose our own poison along with the healer in our life, right? Noted, doc.

jkt
small milky way called Jakarta

Anyway.. We were just detaching mind from work and picking the night even more while talking about nothing and everything for the future when priority is just a priority (dikala umur menuju kepala 3 muhaha).

Then one question popped up from my grinning face : Tell me dears..What is your most ideal images that you hardly let go from your mind?

Be it moving on from your ideal personality you ever love like a gruesome doctor, famous designer, cheating lawyer, ambitious engineer, sweet lovely writer etc.. we all have our kind of Mount Everest right at heart and mind.

And it is our choice whether to keep it too much in mind, adapt it or to just let things be, either on whatever adjective that come along as a tag-lined-profession or adjusting point of view once again to accept from the other side.

How much cloudy people could become to compensate the possibility of the future nowadays, huh? Apart from our perseverance in life, I only see that things are meant to let go when you are mentally ready, just because.

That at some point of our desires to catch what we want in life, doing it in immovable detachment results in bunches of contentment, purity, simplicity and immutability that dwells eternally in our soul (just some vocab from Meister Eckhart essay).

That of all beautiful and screwed up things, having great peeps in company while we keep saying towards each other in unconditional situation  of this ‘belantara Jakarta’ years after years such as :

“Come! Let’s go on trial errors, fall and always rise up. I’m waiting for you to put yourselves together again, ok? We are always just around.”

And isn’t it just we all need sometimes?

Some “bodo-bodo” conversations to laugh about after rough day and some deep discussions about the meaning of your life to ponder on and also to look forward having a life spouse in 3 words final category : komplemen, utuh dan sejalan.. Bersama-sama menjadi.

Cheers ~<3